Hey eBuyer - we noticed that thing you do with the recorded message

I tried to buy a computer from eBuyer last week. I found that to be impossible but that's no big deal, the world is full of computer companies that can take down credit card details correctly at least once given three attempts so I'll use one of them instead. That's not the interesting thing about eBuyer.

The interesting thing about eBuyer is the recorded message when you're on hold. Here's how it goes.

(1) on getting into the queue, the message tells you there are anything between half a dozen and twenty people in the queue ahead, and estimates a waiting time

(2) as that waiting time counts down, the message comes back on to say that the number of people in the queue has fallen, and offers a fresh estimate

(3) sooner or later, the number of people in the queue apparently falls to one and the estimate falls to about a minute

(4) then - and this is the good bit - the wait goes on for another five minutes, without any further comment
from the seemingly-helpful countdown system.

One of three things is going on  here. One: on each of several occasions, the very last person in the queue takes five times longer to deal with than the people before them. It's not quite impossible, but it's so unlikely that we can discount it. Two: I am mad, or lying, or can't tell five minutes from 60 seconds. Possible, but I'm not buying it. Three: someone at eBuyer thought that no-one would notice if they made a recording that lies to you and tries to keep you on the phone as long as possible with a wholly spurious estimate of the wait remaining.

You know what? My money's on three. Try ringing eBuyer and see how credible those estimates sound to you. Five minutes, fine; three minutes, fine; two minutes, fine; and then finally one minute that in reality goes on for five more.

Comments

[Kate_Ebuyer]

Hi, I am Kate and I'm head of marketing at Ebuyer, I have read the comments you have made and have forwarded onto the Customer Support Manager who looks after that area. I'm sorry you have had a bad experience on the phone, this is a service that should be helpful not frustrating!!

We will look at the system and see if it is giving incorrect information about the wait times and numbers in the queue and rectify if a problem is found. :)

[Seamus McCauley]

Thanks Kate, appreciate the reply.

[Gavin Mulcahy]

If you were buying a computer from Ebuyer - why use the telephone?

One of two things is going on here: 1 - you don't have a computer or internet access. Not quite impossible, but rather unlikely considering the existence of this blog. 2 - you actually take pleasure in assessing the handling procedures of call centres and feel this is a worthwhile application of a small fraction of your life.

[Seamus]

Gavin - fair question, and I was ringing them to find out whether the website had failed to process the transaction, as it appeared to. It had.

[Gavin Mulcahy]

Fair enough - I've only had to call them once (out of hundreds of orders)! And it's very hard to resist the temptation to make sarcastic comments. Some people set up blogs just for that purpose. Keep up the good work!

[BAZ]

Oh Gavin, Gavin, Gavin. You come across as a person who works in "Said call centre" and spends a small fraction of your time answering our calls.
Do "buck-up" lad. We need to get those waiting times down.